On Tour Pt. 2- Assembling the Fearsome Team
World tour. A concept that many men dare not even grasp, and one even fewer embark upon. We are not those men.
Because we’re on FRATERNITY TOUR. Land of brodom, beer pong and if we’re lucky some handles of Maker’s Mark. We’ve spent the last few days assembling our crew and our necessary items…
First off… The bus. We had been holding out for sponsorship, worst case scenario we were gonna rent a van, but PBR came through in the clutch with a renovated hippie-mobile. The team in Jersey slapped some big magnetic stickers on that boy, XM through us a free radio service and we’re ready to go… They might be expecting MGMT, but this bad boy holds Silver Medallion & CO.
Due to quarantine constraints, we couldn’t bring the DJ Epidemic (shmer shmer shmer)… We’re thinking of developing a way to shrink him to pocket size, but that doesn’t really pertain to what’s going on here, it’s more a “free time” activity. Instead we have my dad’s old 70’s buddy, Arthur, but we just call him Hans for reasons I don’t recall. He’s a professional roadie, and also a great friend. He talks a lot of jive about music and meaning but we think he’s just along for the girls and free beer.
And then us… Look at these boys, all grown up and ready to educate the youth with classic material about love and life and achieving your dreams. We might not be LMFAO, but 4 out of 5 frat boys says we’re way cuter.
Our soundtrack for the road is mostly old cassette tapes, due to the nature of our vehicle, right now after a tiered voting system for each week of travel, we’ll be rolling around the east coast to Seal’s “Kissed By a Rose”
The Sponsors
Carnegie and I have recently both established the goal of 12-15% body far. Muscle Milk is our secret, and this chocolatey goodness of protein and man stuff is our main ticket to being fully ripped brah.
Pabst Blue Ribbon. The official beer of your hipster cousin, whichever apostle this is, and your angry New Jersey ex-girlfriend. And now Silver Medallion.
Planned Parenthood. For all occasions.
And lastly, Crunk Energy Drink, which thankfully gives us the opportunity to yell “Yeahhhh” and “Whaattt” like it was 5 years ago and Chapelles Show was still cool. Only downside, explaining the word “crunk” to 18 year olds makes us feel hella old.
We’ll be on air at 5pm at Syracuse tomorrow and live at 11pm. Can’t stop the prophets, and I’m out!
Categories: Uncategorized
